Hells bells, they even shot the dog! (the No Country for Old Men review)

After seeing Charlie Bartlett, I had a small freak-out, thinking that No Country for Old Men would leave the theater within 24 hours, so I went Sunday afternoon to see it. And boy howdy, I'm glad I did.

No Country for Old Men is the movie that everyone wished they'd thought of. Or the story everyone wished they'd written. And then everyone wishes they were the Coen brothers, but they're not, so too bad. Life sucks. This movie doesn't. It was the perfect blend of simplicity, action, gratuitous violence, and psychology, and it was completely deserving of Best Picture. I'm a bit miffed that it didn't get Best Cinematography (it went to There Will Be Blood), but I suppose that Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, and Supporting Actor will have to suffice.

Man, where do I begin? The opening lines, a voice-over spoken by Sheriff Ed Tom (the always awesomely deadpan Tommy Lee Jones), capture the viewer's attention right away, nostalgia and exhaustion dripping from every word. Cut to an arrest, which turns sour as Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) brutally murders the arresting officer, takes his little oxygen tank, and goes on his merry way. We are then introduced to Llewelyn Moss, a man in the wrong place at the right time who finds the aftermath of a drug deal gone wrong, as well as a case with $2 million inside. He takes the money, which brings Chigurh onto his trail, along with a whole lot of mayhem and ridiculously fascinating deaths and mind games. All for money.

The movie was an absolute dream. I mean that seriously; that shit was surreal. The shots of the landscape, especially when there was a storm on the horizon, were just incredible, giving me a look at a part of the country I barely knew existed. Once again, they lost Best Cinematography. That really frosts my cookies.

The performances were fantastic. Tommy Lee Jones never disappoints, and was so world-weary that you couldn't help but feel the weight of life that he carried. Josh Brolin was an unsuspectingly great anti-hero. I really empathized with him and was very sad when he met an unsuspecting fate. He was smart, he was witty, and he was relatable. Woody Harrelson, not sure what the hell you were doing in the movie, but you were funny ("As compared to what? The bubonic plague?") and annoying and I'm sorry your ass got shot.

Okay. Finally, we get to the talk of the town. Javier Bardem not only deserved Best Supporting Actor, but he also should've been given the Scariest Motherfucker EVER award, because what. the. hell. No, it wasn't just the haircut that terrified me (the hair should've been given Best Supporting), but it was his eyes, totally devoid of any emotion or regard for life, or the stiff way he walked, like a machine. It was his mindfucks (I sat through the scene in the convenience store with the entire cast of ER on standby, because I swear I was gonna have a massive coronary), his silk-over-gravel voice, and it was his damn coins. CHRIST. What a performance. Javier, eres fantastico! Te admiro mucho! Espero que te veré en más peliculas muy pronto!

Shut up. I know Spanish. (If any of that's incorrect, I don't want to hear about it.)

Regardless of the movie not winning Best Cinematography or whether or not my Spanish is half-decent, No Country for Old Men is truly cinema at its best.

Although, what can you expect? It's the Coen brothers.

I give No Country for Old Men 5 out of 5.

ima mess you up.


** I'd like to make a correction from my earlier post regarding the weapon used by Javier Bardem's character. It wasn't a tire iron, it was an oxygen tank. Who fucking knew?

After the Oscar Wars 2008

Well, it looks like Sid Ganis will live to see another day. Daniel Day-Lewis got Best Actor.

And who totally called everything except Best Actress?! Um, this one right here. I'm very happy for the winners, especially Diablo Cody for taking home Best Original Screenplay. You go, girl!


Okay. Time to break down the night:

LIKES

1. Jon Stewart as host: I thought he totally owned it this time around. His first time hosting in 2006 was kind of lackluster, but I'm gonna chock that one up to nerves. He was relaxed and very funny; I especially loved the bit about Cate Blanchett playing the pit bull.

2. Katherine Heigl's gown: I know there were other beautiful gowns on the red carpet, but DAMN. She looked amazing. I want that dress, you have no idea.

3. The Montages: They were very beautiful, especially the In Memoriam one and the 80 Years of Oscars one. Beautifully done.

4. DANIEL DAY-LEWIS WON FOR BEST ACTOR.

5. Amy Adams singing "Happy Working Song": That woman is cute as a button! She was too adorable. I really hope we see more from her.

6. Tilda Swinton's win: Totally wasn't expecting that, but I'm glad she won. Her performance in Michael Clayton was great. And her acceptance speech? WIN. Especially the part about George Clooney wearing the Batman nipple suit under all his clothes and hanging-upside down at lunch.


DISLIKES

1. Jon Stewart as host: As much as I liked his turn as host, I was spoiled by Ellen DeGeneres last year. She truly was an amazing and hilarious host. Nothing will ever top her having Stephen Spielberg take a picture of her and Clint Eastwood for her Myspace, or vacuuming under everyone's feet.

2. Gary Busey: What the shit was that about?

3. The In Memoriam montage: Um, why wasn't Brad Renfro in there? That was kinda rude. You don't snub dead guys, seriously. Bitch is gonna haunt the Academy members now.

4. Ryan Seacrest: Can't someone shut this guy the fuck up? Seriously. I'm so sick of seeing his smug mug.

5. It was only 4 hours. I'm used to it being 8 and 1/2! You bunch of wimps!


All in all, a very good night. Congrats to all the nominees and the winners.

The Oscar Wars: 2008 Edition

Well, it's that time again! Time for our brave men and women to suit up in Versace, Christian Lacroix, and whatever the hell else they'll be wearing in order to battle it out for the golden statuette!

That's right. It's time for the Academy Awards. Let the bloodshed commence.

I've compiled a list of the nominees, who should win, who will probably win, and why:


BEST PICTURE
1. Michael Clayton
2. Juno
3. No Country for Old Men
4. There Will Be Blood
5. Atonement

None of these films are slouchers. You have the smart legal drama, the sweet indie comedy, the fast-paced and well-written blood bath, and two period pieces. It would be a tough decision, yeah? Not so!

It's going to come down to There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men. It's the year of the long titles. Both films are top-notch.

Will Win
No Country for Old Men

Should Win
No Country for Old Men

As much as I loved There Will Be Blood, it ain't happening. Most people found the movie to be a bit dry for their tastes. Well, fuck them. No Country for Old Men, which I've yet to see, has two good reasons it should take the Oscar: Ethan and Joel Coen. Remember Fargo? Yeah. This movie is just as gritty, but perhaps a bit more fast paced and deeper. And Javier Bardem plays a monumentally fucked up dude with a penchant for tire irons. What could be better?


BEST ACTOR
1. George Clooney (for Michael Clayton)
2. Johnny Depp (for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)
3. Daniel Day-Lewis (for There Will Be Blood)
4. Viggo Mortensen (for Eastern Promises)
5. Tommy Lee Jones (for In the Valley of Elah)

Will Win
Daniel Day-Lewis

There is no "should win" category. Want to know why? See my post on There Will Be Blood. Daniel Day-Lewis's performance was second to none. Although I'd like to see Johnny Depp score an Oscar, because he's weird and scary. But he does it well.


BEST ACTRESS
1. Cate Blanchett (for Elizabeth: The Golden Age)
2. Ellen Page (for Juno)
3. Julie Christie (for Away From Her)
4. Marion Cotillard (for La Mome)
5. Laura Linney (for The Savages)

Will Win
Julie Christie

Should Win
?

This category was a toughie for me, as I only saw one of the films. I don't think Ellen Page deserves an Oscar for her portrayal of Juno in the film of the same name, as good as her performance was. I didn't see Away From Her for personal reasons, as I didn't think I could handle a movie about Alzheimer's after having a family member suffer and die from it. And I never got around to seeing the other three, mostly because two of the movies didn't come to my theater. I hate my theater.

But I hear that Julie Christie was haunting and bittersweet as a woman suffering from one of the worst diseases EVER, who ends up falling in love with a man in her nursing home... while her husband of X amount of years watches helplessly.

I'm getting teary just thinking about it.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1. Tom Wilkinson (for Michael Clayton)
2. Philip Seymour Hoffman (for Charlie Wilson's War)
3. Javier Bardem (for No Country for Old Men)
4. Casey Affleck (for The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford)
5. Hal Holbrook (for Into the Wild)

Will Win
Javier Bardem

Should Win
Tom Wilkinson

Remember, I haven't seen No Country for Old Men, so I can't judge Sr. Bardem's performance. However, Tom Wilkinson owns in every movie he's ever been in, and Michael Clayton was no different. His portrayal of harried, crazy, paranoid Arthur Edens stood out from the first opening lines to the end of his role in the film. Wilkinson knows what he's doing; the man deserves a reward for that.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1. Cate Blanchett (for I'm Not There)
2. Saoirse Ronan (for Atonement)
3. Amy Ryan (for Gone Baby Gone)
4. Tilda Swinton (for Michael Clayton)
5. Ruby Dee (for American Gangster)

Will Will
?

Should Win
Amy Ryan

I don't know why the hell Saoirse "No One Can Pronounce My First Name" Ronan even made the list. Granted, as a child actress she stood out in Atonement, but she totally wasn't deserving of an Oscar. Cate Blanchett's take on Bob Dylan is supposed to be a performance of our times, but it was Amy Ryan's portrayal of a hard-drinking, drug-addict mother from South Boston in Gone Baby Gone that totally deserves the award. She was gripping, she was authentic, she had a MOUTH on her, and she made me 127% invested in her character and her character's plight.


The others, I'm sure you can guess. The Coen Brothers are totally taking home Best Director and Disney's Ratatouille is taking home Best Animated Film.

Although, this year I'm losing my faith in the Academy, if only because Norbit was nominated for anything.

A Bastard in a Basket (the "there will be blood" review)

If Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't get an Oscar for his performance as Daniel Plainview, I'm going to the Academy with a pick-ax.

There Will Be Blood has restored my faith in Hollywood. For a while, at least. It was long, yes, but I never once wondered what time it was or even got up to go to the bathroom (even when my back teeth were practically floating). It moved right along, the plot was interesting, I became emotionally invested in the characters, and the score is now the rightful owner of my soul. As my good friend and fellow film-lover Justin said, "It was a great reminder of how much we take advantage of special effects and crappy acting, and then this movie comes out and it's like, 'oh yeah! That's what a movie is supposed to be!"

Let's start with Daniel as Daniel, shall we? I haven't seen a performance quite like that since Dick Cheney mistook a buddy for a quail. Damn, he was convincing. Daniel, not Cheney. I know that Daniel is very big on method acting and preparation to the point of exhaustion, but jeez, he must have smoked 200 packs an hour and developed cirrhosis and bathed in bacon fat for this role. He was charismatic, he was smooth, he was smart, he loved his son very much and very hard, and he was monumentally fucked-up. And he did it so well. Every moment he was on screen, it was as if Daniel Plainview (who didn't have a plain bone in his body) was a living and breathing man, standing right next to me, sweating whiskey and willing to do anything -- including joining some crazy evangelist church. The end scene alone should have every actor EVER on their knees with their mouths open.

Paul Dano -- the mute kid from Little Miss Sunshine -- has really come into his own. I was thoroughly impressed by his portrayal of craaaaaazy priest Eli. What with the pentecostal 'exorcisms' and the very quiet way he had of manipulating people. The scene with him covered in mud at the dinner table had my heart pounding. His delivery was perfect, just perfect.

The cinematography was fantastic. Every shot held something symbolically for me, especially the shots when dealing with fire and shadow. Every shot was epic. It was like Paul Thomas Anderson was bringing back the glory days of old Hollywood with his establishing shots and points of view.

The dichotomy of power and humanity was fascinating. Daniel's absolute loathing for mankind was an amazing thing to witness, especially when cast against his love for H.W., his foster son. His hatred was palpable, climaxing not once, but twice in this film, both times horrible and yet totally necessary. The religion aspect of it was twisted and delicious and really makes you wonder just what there is to believe in.

I really can't wait for the Academy Awards, to see how this will fare against No Country for Old Men. Daniel'd better win, that's all I can say. Because I'll be watching, Sid Ganis. I'll be watching.

I have a distinct urge to learn the violin now.

I give There Will Be Blood 5 out of 5.