I *was* going to review for Dirty Sexy Money...

... but something happened on the way to the TV.

So, I'm at home, all geared up to watch Dirty Sexy Money before Grey's Anatomy starts at 9pm. My mother was kind enough to tape it for me, so I'm fast forwarding through the tape (which has all her shows on it) and I stop right at the beginning of the newest episode of Bones.

I used to watch Bones sporadically when it was in its first season. And if I happened to be in the room when it was on, I'd watch it. I really enjoyed the chemistry between David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel; they reminded me of Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler from Law & Order: SVU. You were just DYING for them to get together. But I never really made the time for Bones.

NOW I'm wondering what the eff I've been doing!!

Right from the start of the episode (titled: "Death in the Saddle"), I was hooked. Some little kid on a field trip finds a dead body behind some bushes, maggots writhing in and dropping out of its eye sockets. I was like, "EWWWWW...... awesome."

So naturally I need to watch it and find out who did it. Another thing in common with Law & Order.

The body is missing its feet, which are found several, um, feet away. Severed with precision. Also during examination, raw oats and molasses are found in the victim's stomach... horse food. Dr. Brennan, or "Bones" as she's called, researches it and discovers that racing horses are buried separate from their feet. The feet get their own resting spot, as the feet of a horse represent power.

Which leads them to discover what the victim, Ed Milner, had been up to.

He was into "pony play", a sexual role-playing game derived from S&M where the submissive one is dressed up and assumes the identity of a horse, and the dominant one plays the rider, who commands the horse. The "pony" is treated exactly as a horse would be: saddled, bit in the mouth, led around on a lead, given commands, eat from troughs, and are rubbed down and placed into stables. When in the role of a "pony", the man or woman loses their real identity and truly becomes the horse.

The best part? Ed Milner's pony name is "Mr. Ed". I had to pause the tape and crack up for a good two minutes.

Agent Booth, played by David Boreanaz, is less than impressed. He's quick to judge and fly out with the snappy comments -- which I love.

While Booth and Bones investigate the mansion that houses these pony games, Angela Montenegro, an artist who specializes in reconstructing facial features and crime scenes and also Bones's bffl, is trying to undergo hypnosis to remember the name of the man she'd married one drunken night in Tahiti so she can divorce his ass and marry her boyfriend, Dr. Jack Hodgins, THE MOST SNARKY MAN ON THE PLANET AND AFTER MY OWN HEART.

I actually didn't pay much attention to this substory. I was too focused on my jealousy of how pretty Michaela Conlin (Angela) is and how much T.J. Thyne (Hodgins) rocks my skull.

Eric Millegan's Dr. Zack Eddy, the akward and neophyte GENIUS, is so hilariously tragic. He's so awkward. I love him.

Hodgins and Eddy are like the bffl's you see in every sitcom... except together they're COMEDIC GOLD.

"You really suck all the fun out of any moment of personal triumph." Hodgins wins at life.

But anyway, it turns out that Mr. Ed's (tee hee... "A horse is a horse, of course of course") rider, "Annie Oakley", killed him because she'd left her husband for him, but he wasn't prepared to leave his wife (who was divorcing him anyway after finding him in the stable being rubbed down by Annie). So, she buried him like a horse, complete with slamming a hoof knife into his forehead, which is how horses are slaughtered.

Okay, I need a second to get that image out of my head. And possibly take a minute to cry. I hate humans. We should pull a Caligula and elect a horse into the senate. I mean, we've already got a bunch of asses there, anyway.

But I digress...

I think after this smartly funny and interesting episode that I'm going to have to take time to continue watching it.

And don't even get me started on how House is still so cool. I didn't get to finish that episode... Grey's came on.


Conclusion: I STILL didn't get to see Dirty Sexy Money!!!

You like that? Yeah, I thought so.