COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU!

Well, I decided to skip 2 1/2 hours of theatrical torture by NOT going to see Sex and the City: The Movie. My mother asked me if I wanted to go with her and her friends. I said that I had some important things to do (ie: watch a plant photosynthesize, stare at the ceiling, putter around in Photoshop, go into Salem and take pictures with Neil Cicirega and company) and told her to have a good time. I knew she wouldn't.

She didn't.

I swear, I think I'm a prophet.

However, there are some fascinating, funny, and horrendous trailers that I've been seeing and I thought I'd take a moment to address a few of them and perhaps encourage my readers (read: 4) to go see some (or not at all).

The Fall (Now In Select Theaters)

The Fall is director Tarsem Singh's second movie, a film that took nearly 6 years to shoot -- on 26 locations in 18 countries. The trailer gives you the story of the frame narrative: in 1921, a little girl (Catinca Untaru) falls and breaks her arm, bringing her to the hospital where she meets a stuntman (Lee Pace, Soldier's Girl, Pushing Daisies) whom had also taken a fall. He tells her a fantastical story and promises to finish it if she does something for him in return: help him to commit suicide. The film looks to be one of the most visually-stimulating I've seen in a very long time and the plot itself is interesting enough. A story in a story. Like Tales From 1001 Nights! Plus, that Catinca Untaru is a little cutie!




The Dark Knight (July 18th)

I did not partake in the "Let's go on a ridiculous scavenger hunt so we can see a trailer that was destroyed by the Joker" thing, so I've been forced to watch the regular one with all the other slobs.

But still. THIS TRAILER. I had been clawing at the walls before the trailer had been released. I'm pretty sure I'm unbearable to live with now that I've had a taste and am being forced to wait for the movie.

The Dark Knight looks much darker than its prequel, Batman Begins, especially with the rise of the Joker. I'm beyond thrilled that Katie Holmes was replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal (Katie was okay, but I'm a huge fan of Maggie's) and that Aaron Eckhart is playing Harvey Dent. The casting in this little trilogy is perfect. MICHAEL CAINE, PEOPLE!

This movie is going to be ridiculous -- in a good, rip-roaring, deformed clown open-firing on a schoolbus kind of way.




The Love Guru (June 30th)

I try not to look at films objectively. I try to go in, free of any biases I might have, and enjoy it.

But with films like this, I usually just end up trying not to throw up in my mouth.




Tropic Thunder (August 15th)

I cannot convey how much I want to see this film. Just go see it. Robert Downey Jr. plays an Australian actor-turned-Black Man. That alone should be incentive enough.




Mama Mia! (July 18th)

I had to throw in a musical. I know musicals are going to be Hollywood's next big thing (Chicago, Dreamgirls, Sweeney Todd), but I'm going to enjoy this before it gets annoying.

The movie itself looks like it's going to be good-hearted fluff. I'm not expecting anything too deep or dramatic, but I'm going in expecting to have fun. The songs are bouncy and enjoyable (yay ABBA!) and I really like Meryl Streep. Amanda Seyfried looks like a lovely girl and -- shock of shocks -- can act! And sing, apparently! And guess who's also in it, singing and dancing? Dominic Cooper of The History Boys fame!

I can't wait. Unfortunately, the movie will have to wait for me, as I'll be parked in theater #1 for The Dark Knight on July 18th. Maybe the next day.