Celebrity, and why that word is stupid

Once upon a time, yours truly went to NYC to see Suddenly Last Summer, starring Blythe Danner, Gale Harold, and Carla Gugino. The play wasn't good, but my friends and I waited at the stage door nonetheless to catch a glimpse of the actors.

It was cold, rainy, and I could feel it rattling in my lungs, but no one else seemed to pay heed to the weather conditions. They clamored to get as close to the barrier rope as possible, all of them praying for the chance to see Gale Harold, who eventually emerged in an unfashionable ensemble that I mentally picked apart, just as I would anyone else.

I, too, went up, mostly because he and I had the same hat. And while the other girls cooed and tittered over him, we struck up a short, normal conversation full of sarcasm but graciousness. I was pleasant, so was he, and that was that.

My friends forbade me to ever talk to another celebrity again because I "did it wrong".

I've thought long and hard about this. My feelings haven't changed. Sure, I have my celebrity crushes (Nathan, Sean, Cate, and David Tennant), but I recognize these people as simply that: people.

Acting isn't what it used to be. Back when Hollywood was emerging, acting was about the art. It was about emotion, passion, pushing your body to its absolute limit so it might show up on the brand new Technicolor film. It was Marlon Brando, screaming in the streets. It was Anne Bancroft, a goddess seducing a teenager. It was Fred and Ginger, dancing on pockets of romance and night. These actors and actresses were humble, genuine, and unafraid to take risks.

Now, it's a status symbol. One celebrity can shut down an entire terminal of an airport upon arrival. Malls close for them. Normal, everyday people trip over themselves just to see them, will spend absorbent amounts of money to meet them.

Doesn't anyone realize that acting is simply a job for these celebrities? That's what it all comes down to, at least for me. This is their job, their occupation. Their job is to entertain, just as it's your co-worker's job to make sure there are cover sheets on your TPS reports, just as it's your boss's job to keep you in line and make sure you're not wanking to internet porn during company hours. But you don't see paparazzi lining the elevator when your superior comes into work in the morning, nor do you see restaurants and department stores giving things away for free just because your neighbor, the accountant; the teacher; the cashier walked through the door. Acting is their job -- granted, it's one of the coolest jobs to have, but it's still a job.

I don't go crazy over celebrities because they're regular people. So the next time you see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walking down the street together, leave them alone. You don't harass other complete strangers for living their lives. Extend celebrities the same courtesy.

It's just a job, people. Just a job.

R.C.'s Top 10 Talented Celebrity Men (that rhymed!)

Because what else would you do when you have laryngitis? As I sit here finishing up an essay, I couldn't help but think of this little quiz a couple of my friends had sent me in which you had to list your favorite 10 talented celebrity men. Well, here's mine:

**NOTE: Orlando Bloom did NOT make this list, because, well, I said "talented" celebrities. Sorry, girls.


1. Sean Biggerstaff

Whenever I mention his name, the reply is always the same: "who?" Well, screw you, infidels, because Sean's one to watch! This Scottish actor doesn't take any shit from anyone, he's in a band, his sarcastic streak is world-renown, not to mention that he's got more talent in the nail of his pinky finger than 90% of Hollywood's leading men have in their entire bodies. Was that grammatically correct? Probably not. My head hurts.

Anyway, Sean not only has a slew of intriguing and fantastic movies roles under his belt (Oliver Wood in "Harry Potter", Jeremy Wolfenden in "Consenting Adults", and Ben Willis in "Cashback" to name a few), but my fictional letter to him in Spanish got me the highest grade in my Spanish 201 class. Gracias, Sean!


2. Nathan Fillion



He's the only thing I want for my 21st birthday (well, him and a pair of polka dot shoes), and barring any legal difficulties he may just show up! Who knows -- Kidnapping might not be a federal offense in his native Canada!

He first came to public attention on the soap opera, "One Life to Live", and on "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place". He then advanced into Whedon territory when he played We-The-Jury-Find-The-Defendant-crazy priest Caleb on "Buffy, The Vampire Slayer" and as Captain Malcolm Reynolds on the short-lived but much-loved "Firefly" and its counterpart film (take that, FOX!), "Serenity". He continued into film with that piece of shit, "White Noise 2: The Light", and the charming "Waitress".

Plus, he's a fucking goofball. And I love it.


3. Simon Amstell



I've never seen anyone do 'deadpan' so brilliantly. I first saw Simon on "Never Mind the Buzzcocks", my new favorite show that I'm forced to watch on YouTube because America hates smart and funny game shows. Simon manages to come across as that boy you went to school with who SEEMED innocuous until he opened his mouth and ruined the illusion. He's smart, he's quick, he's unapologetic, and he's a joy to watch. And, like most of the people who will be on this list, he's British.


4. Tom Wilkinson



Do you think Tom goes around and introduces himself like this: "Hello, I'm Tom Wilkinson... and you're not"? If not, he definitely should. We all need a reminder like that.

Mr. Wilkinson has been in several (billions?) of movies and has never disappointed me in any of them, regardless if the movie itself is even of any value. Although usually having Tom in them is an indication. He's a sort of changeling, able to get into ANY kind of role, no matter what it is. His latest (and greatest?) was that of Benjamin Franklin on HBO's superb miniseries, "John Adams". Oh, all of you Hollywood actors better get down on your knees and pray that you will maybe, perhaps, in time be as wonderful as he. Although chances are it won't happen. Ever.


5. Harold Perrineau



I first saw Harold in Baz Luhrmann's "Romeo and Juliet", in which he played Mercutio. But I never really paid him mind, mostly because I was young and had the attention span of a brick. But I then sat up and took notice when I watched the first season of "Lost", where he played Michael, that crazy crazy asshole. But what really captivated me, especially these past few months, was his role on HBO's critically-acclaimed series, "OZ", in which he played narrator and inmate Augustus Hill, as well as his role in "28 Weeks Later" as pilot Flynn. He was also in "The Matrix" sequels as Link.

He's gritty and raw, and you should all run out and rent all 6 seasons of "OZ" just so you can witness acting at its finest.


6. Donald Sutherland



I don't even need to explain myself for this one.


7. Christopher Meloni



Whether he's playing straight, gay, cop, CRAZY, or Freakshow, Chris is amazing. He's never afraid to take it too far and he always somehow manages to make me smile, even when he's kicking the shit out of Lee Tergesen. And he looks like a gift to the world from a higher power when he takes his shirt off.


8. Alan Rickman



No words. None. They haven't been written yet.

** NOTE: No, girls, Professor Snape isn't his best role. Get Netflix, you morons.


9. Eddie Izzard



He was the first thing that popped up when I googled the world 'Eddie', so that must say something. Eddie is one of my favorite comedians, being that not only do I get tons of laughs out of his routines but I also walk away a little bit smarter. I had the good fortune of seeing Mr. Izzard last night at the Orpheum, even though he and everyone around me probably wanted to kill me (what with all the coughing), and he didn't disappoint. Sometimes comedians never live up to your expectations when you see them live, but not him! He exceeded them all! Especially with this line:

As the British, talking about America during the Revolution: "Oh, let's just let them have it. It won't work. Shit, it's working."


10. Robert Downey Jr.



It's always something when an actor can act without making it seem like acting. I love all of RDJ's characters; they're scattered, they're sarcastic, they're hilarious, and they're real. Everyone knows someone like RDJ. I hope. We need more of him.

I know that everyone's psyched about him as Tony Stark in the upcoming "Iron Man" (I am!), but he's also genius in these other films: "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", "Charlie Bartlett", "Zodiac", "Goodnight and Good Luck", "Chaplin", and "Wonderboys".


Runners Up:

Frank Warren
Brad Bird
Denzel Washington
Bruce Willis
Clive Owen
Robin Ince
Sir Anthony Hopkins
Johnny Depp
Simon Pegg
Richard Griffiths
Jon Stewart
EDITED DUE TO GUILT: Neil Cicirega