I didn't die!

... Contrary to popular belief. I'm a bit busy, writing a screenplay and all (not to mention school starting up again in a day), but I've been slacking and I wanted to do a Quick, QUICK update on the movies I've seen, think you should see, and what's out and available to rent.


In Theaters

1. Juno - Totally worth your $10. Actually, it's worth $30 so you can see it twice more. While the dialog is very unrealistic (it's like what you wish you'd have said an hour later), it doesn't take away from the movie, and what a decent and charming movie it is. Ellen Page rules. (A)

2. Sweeney Todd - One day, there will be something that Johnny Depp can't do, and it will be a sad day, indeed. Until then, you can see him singing it up in this DARK musical. You know that when he and Tim Burton team up, it's going to be gold. Helena Bonham Carter steals the show, and ALAN RICKMAN SINGS. AND HAS STUBBLE. ::dies:: (A)

3. National Treasure: Book of Secrets - I was too distracted by Nicolas Cage's hairline to really pay attention, but it was worse than the first one. Do they follow a formula? Possible treasure + Awkward family secret + Bad guys + Hairline = National Treasure? And Helen Mirren, what are you doing in such drivel? You're a queen, dammit, start picking your roles like one! (C-)


To Rent

1. Waitress - Keri Russell charms (except at the end... bitch is crazy) and Nathan Fillion talks and smiles and eats and exudes sexuality and breathes for all of us to bear witness in Adrienne Shelly's movie. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I had a terrible craving for pie at the end. Adrienne, you were an inspiration to me, especially being a writer-actress-director. You will be sorely missed. (A-)

2. Children of Men - This always makes it onto my 'Must Rent' list, because it's so damn good. Alfonso Cuaron and Clive Owen: it's like the Dream Team of cinema. Dealing with a touchy subject like the only pregnant woman in the entire world? It's I Am Legend, only... you know, good. (A)

3. Live Free or Die Hard - Action, computers, wise-cracks, Bruce Willis one-liners? WHOO! Looks like another Die Hard movie! And guess what? It's better than the second one, so you know it's good! Plus, the Mac Guy's in it and so is the dude from Deadwood. And damn, he's mean. I love it. (B+)

4. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Harry and his emo are back in the newest addition to the series. Unfortunately, something happened to his hair, so we're left with the fur that some sloth molted. Oh well, can't win them all. Except Imelda Staunton. She totally wins them all. Best villain EVER. (B+)


Coming Soon!

1. El Orfanato - The Spaniards always get horror right. Americans just suck at it. This shit looks scary.

2. Cloverfield - I really need to know what's destroying New York. These teaser trailers are killing me. And no, it's not a lion.

3. Teeth - Vajayjay with teeth. ZOMG.

4. 27 Dresses - I'll admit, I'm a sucker for a decent chick flick. I enjoy Katherine Heigl when she's not whining her way through another episode of Grey's. I loved her in Knocked Up and it looks like she wins again in this upcoming movie about a woman who's been a bridesmaid 27 times.

5. Meet the Spartans - I love a good spoof. Hopefully this lives up to expectations. But anyone who kicks Britney Spears down a bottomless pit is A-OK with me.

6. VANTAGE POINT OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS FREAKING MOVIE SOMEONE GO WATCH THE TRAILER IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!

7. Wall-E. See previous post. ::squeals::

GO TEAM VENTURE!!

I love a good satire, don't you? Especially when it comes in the form of a show so smart, so witty, and so reminiscent of the old school Hanna-Barbara shows.

From the genius minds of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim comes The Venture Bros., an animated series about Doctor Venture, a failed scientist fumbling in the footsteps of his genius father, Venture's two idiot sons, Dean and Hank, and their bodyguard, a blood-thirsty government agent named Brock Sampson.

This show is GOLD.

It's always the same formula: good guys + bad guy + conflict = showdown = GOOD GUYS WIN = Cheesy ending dialog + Laughter

Christ, it's like doing FOIL in Algebra.

The Venture Bros. takes this formula and turns it upside down, bringing with it villains that have real problems, razor wit and snark, and a dysfunctional family just trying to get along. The formula is an updated one, packed with plenty of laughs (real ones) and hysterically tragic characters that you can't help but love -- even the villains.

When you're not cracking up over Brock Sampson (voiced by Patrick Warburton)'s complete disregard for human life, or the poor, under-appreciated H.E.L.P.eR robot, or sympathizing with the Monarch's henchmen (who have personalities and bits of back story), you're pitying/laughing with the Venture Brothers and their fumbling attempts to be heroes and please their father, whom is never happy.

The show's animation is fantastic, a hip update of the old ways, and is aided by the old school jazz score (but with a 21st century twist).

The Venture Bros. is a triumph, and I can't wait for Season 3 to come out. Seasons 1 and 2 are available for purchase and I highly recommend them to anyone in need of some quality entertainment.

Girl Talk: not just for females anymore! (Music)

I was getting made up for a photo shoot when my friend, the photographer, asked if we could listen to some music. At my hearty consent, he brought iTunes up and began playing a series of remixed songs that were all set to an incredibly catchy beat. Amazed, I listened carefully and was able to pick out at least 10 songs I knew out of each.

Girl Talk is Pittsburgh mash-up musician Gregg Gillis. He specializes in sample-based remixes, in which he uses at least a dozen elements from different songs to create a "new" song. Seriously. I'll sit there and be like, "THAT'S GENESIS! OMG THAT'S GWEN! AND THAT'S KANSAS! AND THAT'S THE PETSHOP BOYS!"

He plays many shows in clubs, and I almost got to go to one but couldn't due to the FLU. Stupid virus, ruining my life.

Night Ripper is his most recent album, 16 tracks, all amalgamations of rap, pop, old school rock, and grunge. They're amazingly catchy and very fun to work out to. When I was stuck in the Overlook Hotel, I'd listen to them every day on the treadmill. It's a fun album and never gets old, especially when you're constantly discovering the songs in the mixes.

I highly recommend Girl Talk to anyone looking for something bouncy to listen to when exercising, running, or on the highway and in need of something fun.

What To Watch on a Rainy Saturday Night

Mystery Science Theater 3000. MST3k.

Probably the best show ever.

Do you hate B-movies? Or love to hate them? Would you like to watch a guy and 2 robots watch them and make fun of them all the way through?

Then this is the show for you.

All episodes can be found on Youtube. I recommend "Prince of Space", "Werewolf", and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians".