As sure as the sun will rise and as sure as Britney will run you over, X-mastime is upon us! Or Christmastime. Hanukkahtime. Kwanzaatime. Whatever you believe.

And as your host of this lovely site, it's my job to offer you ideas for gifts, whatever your delight may be. Is it for a lover? A parent? A sibling? A roommate? A person who's not really a friend but you'd feel bad if you didn't get them something?


1. Get better friends


No matter how many new diets come out or how many people you know are on a no-carb, no-fat, no-good kick, everyone abandons their "routine" in favor of the holidays. It's in our blood to bulk up for the winter to hibernate, and what better way to do that than to eat junk food, or as I like to call it, good shit?

Here's a recipe that is bulletproof. And if the gift's for a guy or girl friend, it's sure to get you laid!

Wreath Balls!

You will need...

* 1/2 cup butter (if I hear anyone bitching about how many calories are in butter, I will come over there and beat you.)
* 30 large marshmallows
* 1 1/2 teaspoons green food coloring
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 4 cups cornflakes cereal (like Special K! ... Not the drug.)
* 2 tablespoons cinnamon red hot candies

1. Melt the butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Add the marshmallows, and cook until melted, stirring constantly. If you stop stirring for even a SECOND, it will rise up and slay you. Next, remove from heat, and stir in the food coloring, vanilla, and Ketamine cornflakes.

2. Quickly drop big, honkin' tablespoonfuls of the mixture onto waxed paper, and form into a wreath shape with lightly greased fingers (so for those who've always wanted to bathe in Crisco, now's your moment to shine). Immediately decorate with red hot candies. Allow to cool to room temperature before removing from waxed paper, and storing in an airtight container.


seamonkeyz27 said...

This recipe looks great! Im always looking for different treat recipes cause I get bored making the same ones every year.

Elizabeth said...

homg, food. FOOD. sweets. sweet. thank you!

jillapet said...

Green food coloring. Kids. Yep, I'm so gonna hate myself, but we have to try it! Jilla

R.C. said...

They're really good! As someone who's allergic to chocolate, I needed something yummy and, well, not chocolate. These definitely fit the bill!

S.A. said...

We've made these before for the holidays and substituted in M&Ms, Skittles, or baked beans for the red hots depending on the age of the person. (Grandma liked the baked beans but my little cousin likes his with Skittles because of all the colors.)

We also make bourbon balls, pretzels covered in almond bark, sweet breads (pumpkin, sweet potato, etc.), and the old standbys -- fruitcake and sugar cookies.