Rest In Peace...

Robert Goulet is dead.

::cries::

Nov. 26, 1933 - Oct. 30, 2007

It's, like, impossible....

... that TV has a show THIS good. Seriously. I remember when I used to like Grey's Anatomy, but not even that or Heroes can compare to the love I have for Dirty Sexy Money.

But Trip wasn't so awesome in this episode. WHICH SHOWS HOW AMAZING AN ACTOR DONALD SUTHERLAND REALLY IS!!!!

In the latest episode, "The Bridge", it's the twins' 25th birthday, which means that they're being awarded $25 million each. To "help them get started" in life. Their first checkbook. Um, I better get some of that when I turn 25. The things I could do... the places I could travel...

Anyhoo.

Brian Jr. tells Mei Ling Hwa that Brian Sr. is his father and she freaks the eff out, announcing that she's made her choice and wants a divorce. Brian has a meltdown of his own, confides in Nick (!!), and eventually goes to Mei Ling Hwa for a second chance. She orders both father and son out of the house until she makes her decision. The two Brians go to live with Trip and Letitia in Brian Sr.'s old room. IT'S SO CUTE.

Karen wants Patrick to get Freddie into the exclusive club Patrick's a member of. When he refuses, Karen sweetly asks after his special friend (Carmelita)... "the one with the low voice and the eyeliner". WHAT A GOOD DELIVERY. Karen, I can't like you, I need to hate someone on this show. But God, you were so bomb in this episode. Natalie Zea, you're so cool. I want to be you when I grow up. Anyway, Patrick eventually brings Freddie into the club, and Freddie's welcomed warmly by two members who reminisce about some golf thing Freddie did in the past, yadda yadda, yawn.

Nick has a meeting with Simon Elder, who tells Nick (vaguely) about his past and the role Dutch played in it. Simon and Dutch were apparently good friends... and Simon implies that Trip probably had something to do with Dutch's plane going down. After a very insightful limo-ride, Simon leaves Nick with a "no-strings" option: go work for him and do all the charity work Nick wants to do (but can't, since he's babysitting the Darlings).

As for the twins, they are split over the Natalie Kimpton thing and therefore demand to hold their own birthday parties -- for $2 million... each. Juliet gets the house to hold hers, and Jeremy... gets the Brooklyn Bridge.

Yes, let me repeat that: the Brooklyn Bridge.

Juliet then learns from her friend, Astrid, that a pregnant Natalie had asked Astrid for a tampon the previous week at a club. Seems Natalie ain't so preggo no mo'. Jeremy confronts Natalie about it at his party and she admits that she'd thought she was pregnant, but when it turned out she wasn't she just kept up the story. Jeremy, heartbroken, tells her to stay away from him. And then proceeds to sing "All By Myself" on top of the bridge, a move that causes his party to be broken up by the cops.

Trip and Jeremy have a bit of a tiff over Jeremy being irresponsible with his life, for not being the kind of man Trip wants him to be. Nick tells Trip that he's not being fair to Jeremy, that Jeremy needs to live his own life. At the end of the episode, Jeremy apologizes to Trip and asks him for help in finding a job, which makes daddy so proud and Courtney all teary-eyed.

Letitia was in this episode somewhere, but she cheated on Trip (and therefore Donald Sutherland) for 40 years, so she doesn't count.

But it makes me wonder if the DNA reports show that it's not that one of the Darlings isn't hers, but that Nick may be a Darling....

Verrrrrrry interesting.

AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER 2 DAYS UNTIL THE NEXT EPISODE!!!!! Which I won't even see. Thanks a lot, Halloween. You ruined everything.

Blessed Irreverance... Or, the return of the "chester" comics.

Chester Comics was a series of short, semi-surreal comics about the people at my former college. They were quite the hit, but after I transferred I stopped making them. However, I decided a few weeks ago that I would continue them, only dealing with a much broader playing field, different people and subject matter...

And I bring them to you!





edit: I hate this blog template.

The Day Has Come, and What a Sad Day It Is....

What day, you might ask? The day I got through about ten minutes of Heroes before I decided it'd be worth my time to make some eggplant parm and doodle.

AKA: I didn't care enough to watch it. The show is just so boring, and these "twists"... I'm passionately ambivalent about it all. Just like tonight. It's on in half an hour, I have an essay to write, and I really couldn't care.

TIM KRING, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO START GOING DOWNHILL!!! GET RID OF MAYA AND ALEJANDRO, GET HIRO BACK TO THE PRESENT, AND TELL HAYDEN TO STOP FLAT-IRONING HER HAIR AND THEN WE'LL TALK!!!!


In other news, Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series is gay. If anyone didn't see that coming, please exit out of this window and never return. (see below)

I was really surprised J.K. Rowling didn't out Remus, who was gayer than a summer morning. But he's dead and happily reunited with his ex-convict-but-not-really boyfriend in the afterlife. Or something.

...

Anyway, I really want to see Gone, Baby, Gone. Really really. Has anyone seen it yet? Would anyone be willing to go? Not this weekend, I have a slew of Halloween parties to attend, but sometime soon?

SPEAKING OF! My Halloween costume?


I was going to learn how to do a backhand spring, but then I would've been Harley Quinn in a wheelchair.

FOILED AGAIN!

Oh, for crying out loud. This so figures.

Thanks for dashing all my hopes and dreams, WGA.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21386389/

SPOTLIGHT! And it's on.... Sean Biggerstaff!

SPOTLIGHT, my newest segment, is about actors or actresses you should really be aware of.

I'm pleased to announce that the first (and foremost!) entry goes to Sean Biggerstaff. For those of you who know me, you know I can never say enough about Cashback or The Winter Guest (although as much as I talk about Sean in that movie, I'm actually saying more about Emma Thompson... but I digress).

I swear to God, the UK feeds their kids some secret drug that makes them superior to everyone else. All the talented actors and actresses come from across the pond. Hey, UK, can you send us some of that stuff over here? We're really lacking (not counting Donald Sutherland, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey. I was going to list Cate Blanchett and Judy Dench, but, oh, they're from the UK, aren't they?).

Anyway, Sean Biggerstaff made himself known to me when I saw the first Harry Potter movie. For those of you still scratching your heads, he played Oliver Wood. And he was quite the commodity in my eyes, because as an American child I was taught only three things about Scotland (his home country):

1. It's the land in which men wear skirts.
2. There's a dinosaur in a lake.
3. Sean Connery created the universe.

So to see someone that young command a five-minute scene with such relaxed confidence and good humor was pleasantly surprising. (But remember that I was thirteen at the time, so it was mostly "OH MY GOD, HE HAS A SCOTTISH ACCENT!" But looking back, I can appreciate the actual acting now.)

I was fortunate enough to stumble upon www.imdb.com a couple of years ago, so one day after re-watching that scene in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I wandered on over to IMDB to see if Sean had any other films out.

He did. Former fashion photographer-turned-writer-director Sean Ellis put out an Oscar-nominated short called Cashback, which was then made into a feature-length indie film of the same name. Starring... you guessed it! Sean Biggerstaff.

(Sidenote: I can hear the girls giggling over his last name. Yes, it's riotous, great, we're done, moving on.)

I purchased Cashback (for an obscene amount of money... more than $19.99, I can tell you that much) on Amazon.com, because I couldn't find it for the life of me in stores. Apparently Best Buy only caters to huge blockbusters like Pirates of the Caribbean instead of wonderful sleepy films like Cashback. Well, boo to them. Anyway, I watched it one afternoon while straightening my hair. It required a second watch.

And a third. And a fourteenth. Because it was good. I could go into the cinematography and the directing choices, but as great as those were this movie was all about Sean. His portrayal of Ben was genuine. It's what I love most about his acting, of what little I've seen. He has this knack for just sliding into character and making the performance so believable that I have trouble discerning him from the character he's playing. It happened with Oliver, it happened with Tom (The Winter Guest), and it happened with Ben. Within the first ten minutes of the movie, I felt as if I, too, had insomnia and hadn't slept in forever. And I was totally and completely certain that Ben was indeed an artist just coming out of a break-up who was so unsure of what to do with all of his newfound free time (time he would have once spent sleeping) that he joined the graveyard shift at a supermarket.

Whew.

Reader's Digest version: Sean became Ben, inside and out. End of story.

Sean just played the lead in the BBC drama Consenting Adults, all about the life of Jeremy Wolfenden, and is in an upcoming movie, Hippie Hippie Shake, alongside Sienna Miller and Cillian Murphy about counterculturalist Richard Neville's misadventures in London at the end of the 1960s. It sounds like a promising premise. Everyone loves the 60's.

But back to Sean.

I really hope to see more of him sometime soon, and I hear that his stage work is phenomenal. Maybe one day I'll be able to see him in an off-Broadway play, or even on Broadway! Wouldn't that be something?

Sean Biggerstaff has fast become one of my favorite actors, right up there with Donald and Alan. He's just too talented not to be. A lot of people aren't aware of him (until I mention Oliver Wood, and then comes the collective "Ohhhh..."), and they should be. So my advice is to re-watch the Quidditch scenes in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, rent The Winter Guest, buy Cashback, and petition to bring him to American shores so we can see him on stage.

Sean? Here's to you and your illustrious career!

Sidenote 1.5: I wrote him a letter not too long ago. I've become that which I hate: those annoying fangirls. Ugh. Whatever, he's so cool that he deserved it.

Sidenote 2: I won't even lie. I'm in the middle of writing a screenplay, and I'm writing one of the main characters for him. Good thing the Writer's Guild isn't going on strike or this would be a waste of time. Oh, wait...


(+) =

... You guys have no idea what I'm talking about.

Maroon 5 was a bit fushia...

Well, I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed in Maroon 5. I saw them last night at the Fleet Center (or whatever they're calling it this week) in Boston, along with 260,000 screaming 14-year olds.

I don't know what it was. Perhaps it was Adam Levine's awkward connections with the crowd, continually making innuendoes about feeling heat and being sexy. The only time I was interested in him speaking was when he introduced the band members.

They did play some of their best hits, but I was disappointed to find that they focused more on songs from Songs About Jane than they did from their new album, It Won't Be Soon Before Long. They never played "Not Falling Apart", which is one of the best songs on the album, nor did they play "Back At Your Door", which is my favorite song off of It Won't Be Soon...

And that 6 minute drum solo? Genesis's drum solo went for 11 minutes longer, and it was a lot better.

Because Genesis is better, but that's another story.

All in all, it was an okay concert. The Hives opened for them and I enjoyed their performance. I've never seen anyone so energetic on stage before, not even when I saw Bon Jovi. But if you have the chance to see Maroon 5, I suppose you can take the opportunity.

And then my mother (my concert buddy) told me that she could've gotten tickets for the Gone Baby Gone premiere (Ben Affleck's new movie), and didn't so we could see Maroon 5. I could've been on the red carpet asking Ben Affleck about his new directing career (which is being lauded by critics) but instead I was at a wonderfully mediocre concert.

Sometimes I wonder if my family members stopped getting oxygen to their brains.

WHATEVER YOU DO, PET THE HORSES!!!

Two movies in a weekend. Not bad. But today, my gentle snowflakes, I'm here to talk about the most amazing legal drama I've seen in a while: Michael Clayton.

See, whenever I go to see a George Clooney movie, I'm afraid it's just going to be a bunch of "ooh, look at me, I'm good-looking." And as much as George loves mugging for the camera, this movie was really great.

Two of my favorite actors were in this: Tom Wilkinson (AWESOME British actor) and Tilda Swinton (AWESOME British actress). I smell a pattern!

George Clooney stars as Michael Clayton, the "janitor" sent by a major law firm to clean up messes. He's the best at what he does... too bad he doesn't do the whole 'life' thing too well. Between a failed foray into the restaurant business with his alcoholic brother (who got into trouble with the Irish mob, leaving Michael to pay his dues) and a gambling problem, Michael can't find the time to pay attention to his son or take a day off.

He works for Kenner, Bach & Leeder law firm, cleaning up all of the client messes, hit and runs, and handling stories about crooked politicians or "shoplifting housewives".

U-North, the agrochemical company that is being represented by Kenner, Bach & Leeder, is successfully closing a 3 billion-dollar case in which small farm owners filed suit against the company, claiming that the U-North chemicals were hazardous and potentially lethal. The company's brilliant litigator, Arthur Edens (Wilkinson -- MY MAN!), has a breakdown and holds in his possession everything that could sabotage the case, giving the money to the plaintiffs. And U-North's in-house chief counselor, Tilda Swinton (the White Witch from Narnia, kids), is doing everything she can to keep it quiet.

But it falls to Michael to clean it up, and possibly learn things about himself in the process. Like that, yes, we know you have a perfect smile, thanks.

This movie totally had my attention from the get-go. It's incredibly smart and very suspenseful. I took my YiaYia (grandmother in Greek)to see it, and she really enjoyed it. It made her think afterward.

YiaYia: "You know, Courtney, you say that every movie you see is good."
Me: "That's because I don't see bad movies, YiaYia."


I give Michael Clayton a 5 out of 5. You guys should really invest your $10.25 to see it. You won't be disappointed.

ps: Whatever you do, pet the goddamn horses.

OH MY GAHD, WHY IS THIS SHOW SO GOOD?!

Mysterious deaths, red carpet cat fights, and kick-ass transsexuals -- OH MY!

This show really has everything. I almost wish I was a part of the Darling family, if only because the entertainment factor goes up exponentially when they're around.

Episode 3 of Dirty Sexy Money was really good. Just like episodes 1 and 2.

In this episode, the conflict to be dealt with is one that we've suddenly seen an increase of ever since Paris Hilton made it popular: a sex tape. Nick is charged by Darling family publicist Rebecca Colfax (who's as cutthroat and hilarious as anything) to pay the man ONE MILLION DOLLARS (Austin Powers...? Anyone? No? Darn) who has the tape of Karen with her fianceé's caddy and is threatening to release it onto the internet.

That, and Nick goes to the police with the collection of all of the dealings (legal and illegal) of Simon Elder, which had been in his father's briefcase the day he died. Nick believes that Elder was definitely involved with his father's death. Despite Tripp (♥)'s warnings that the police won't be of any help, the police indeed prove to be useless (quelle surprise), as no one wants to tackle the world's richest man. Tripp pleads with Nick to let him help, but Nick isn't entirely sure that Tripp had nothing to do with the death, either.

Jeremy is going to find himself in hot water soon, involved in a relationship with twin sister's former best friend and now hated rival, Natalie Kimpton. Juliet feels (with her "twintuition") that something is up with her brother, despite his vehement denials. It culminates in a showdown between Juliet and Natalie on the red carpet the night of her brother's senate campaign kick-off. Jeremy sides with his sister in front of all the press, much to Natalie's chagrin, but he makes it up to her by giving her a diamond necklace.

Speaking of Patrick, he made me fume when he broke up with Carmelita, the transgendered woman he's been seeing. She stands up for herself and makes quite an exit. You go, girl! But Patrick laments the loss of her to Nick during a limo ride. ("She made me 30 pairs of underwear with my favorite Yankees on the butts... That's love. What kind of jerk throws that away?")

::melts::

Patrick kicks off his campaign by ending his speech with an epitaph of Nick's, "Tomorrow is another day, of opportunity, of chance." AND THEN HE GETS BACK TOGETHER WITH CARMELITA!!!!

Speaking of:

THAT'S HER!!! Isn't she absolutely gorgeous?! Her name is Candis Cayne, and she's just beautiful. And a great actress, if Dirty Sexy Money is anything to go by. I actually got into a fight on IMDB's message board about her with some Bible-thumping bitch who kept saying that the child Candis and her husband adopted is going to grow up depraved, because Candis isn't a real woman and God hates her.

You can imagine my retort. Just let me say that it was good.

So, back to the sex tape debacle: Nick goes to pay off the man for the sex tape with the million he got from one of the family's MANY vaults full of money, but the man's girlfriend explains that someone made a better offer -- three million. She doesn't know who bought it. It turns out, at the end of the episode, that SIMON ELDER (gasp) bought it, but one of Elder's lackies gives it to Nick with all legal documents and copies.

The lacky warns Nick: "He's not the man you think he is, and neither is your boss."

DUM DUM DUUUUUUM!!!!!

Next episode? LISA GEORGE FINALLY TELLS OFF KAREN! That's right, Karen! You're annoying and Nick doesn't love you anymore. SO BEAT IT!

Words are flowing out....

.... and they're flowing out because this movie was good.

While I'll admit that director Julie Taymor was a bit self-indulgent, Across the Universe is definitely worth the $10. It's not your typical musical, which makes it all the more real (and better).

The cast was perfect; they worked so well with and off of each other. Especially Jim Sturgess (Jude) and Joe Anderson (Max): best friends if I've ever seen them. Evan Rachel Wood did a wonderful job, and I was also really impressed with Martin Luther McCoy for his JoJo (Jimi Hendrix) and Dana Fuchs, who played the role of Sadie (Janis Joplin). I'd been listening to the soundtrack for about three weeks before seeing the movie, and when I first heard the song "Helter Skelter", I thought Janis had come back from the dead.

However, in a single scene, Eddie Izzard (that's right!) as Mr. Kite stole the show. It was surreal as can be and I absolutely loved it. After taking the course Surrealism and Rebellion with a man sent to earth as a gift (Michael Deragon, my former professor), I felt I could appreciate it a lot more. And appreciate it I did. I was so impressed with the circus scene. I'd see it again just for that.

The songs were great, even Bono's renditions of "I am the Walrus" and "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". You'd think that ANY cover of ANY Beatles song would be terrible, especially any done by Bono... but these were not terrible in any way. Like I said, I've been listening to the soundtrack non-stop. I highly recommend you get your butt to Amazon.com and buy it. Totally worth it.

There were some issues I had with transitions, but that's purely technical and fades away in the backdrop of a movie I won't soon forget.

I give Across the Universe 4 out of 5.

Grey's Anatomy

Dear Grey's...

You jumped it. I'm probably done with you.

BRING YOUR GOOD WRITERS BACK.

Love,
R.C.

I *was* going to review for Dirty Sexy Money...

... but something happened on the way to the TV.

So, I'm at home, all geared up to watch Dirty Sexy Money before Grey's Anatomy starts at 9pm. My mother was kind enough to tape it for me, so I'm fast forwarding through the tape (which has all her shows on it) and I stop right at the beginning of the newest episode of Bones.

I used to watch Bones sporadically when it was in its first season. And if I happened to be in the room when it was on, I'd watch it. I really enjoyed the chemistry between David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel; they reminded me of Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler from Law & Order: SVU. You were just DYING for them to get together. But I never really made the time for Bones.

NOW I'm wondering what the eff I've been doing!!

Right from the start of the episode (titled: "Death in the Saddle"), I was hooked. Some little kid on a field trip finds a dead body behind some bushes, maggots writhing in and dropping out of its eye sockets. I was like, "EWWWWW...... awesome."

So naturally I need to watch it and find out who did it. Another thing in common with Law & Order.

The body is missing its feet, which are found several, um, feet away. Severed with precision. Also during examination, raw oats and molasses are found in the victim's stomach... horse food. Dr. Brennan, or "Bones" as she's called, researches it and discovers that racing horses are buried separate from their feet. The feet get their own resting spot, as the feet of a horse represent power.

Which leads them to discover what the victim, Ed Milner, had been up to.

He was into "pony play", a sexual role-playing game derived from S&M where the submissive one is dressed up and assumes the identity of a horse, and the dominant one plays the rider, who commands the horse. The "pony" is treated exactly as a horse would be: saddled, bit in the mouth, led around on a lead, given commands, eat from troughs, and are rubbed down and placed into stables. When in the role of a "pony", the man or woman loses their real identity and truly becomes the horse.

The best part? Ed Milner's pony name is "Mr. Ed". I had to pause the tape and crack up for a good two minutes.

Agent Booth, played by David Boreanaz, is less than impressed. He's quick to judge and fly out with the snappy comments -- which I love.

While Booth and Bones investigate the mansion that houses these pony games, Angela Montenegro, an artist who specializes in reconstructing facial features and crime scenes and also Bones's bffl, is trying to undergo hypnosis to remember the name of the man she'd married one drunken night in Tahiti so she can divorce his ass and marry her boyfriend, Dr. Jack Hodgins, THE MOST SNARKY MAN ON THE PLANET AND AFTER MY OWN HEART.

I actually didn't pay much attention to this substory. I was too focused on my jealousy of how pretty Michaela Conlin (Angela) is and how much T.J. Thyne (Hodgins) rocks my skull.

Eric Millegan's Dr. Zack Eddy, the akward and neophyte GENIUS, is so hilariously tragic. He's so awkward. I love him.

Hodgins and Eddy are like the bffl's you see in every sitcom... except together they're COMEDIC GOLD.

"You really suck all the fun out of any moment of personal triumph." Hodgins wins at life.

But anyway, it turns out that Mr. Ed's (tee hee... "A horse is a horse, of course of course") rider, "Annie Oakley", killed him because she'd left her husband for him, but he wasn't prepared to leave his wife (who was divorcing him anyway after finding him in the stable being rubbed down by Annie). So, she buried him like a horse, complete with slamming a hoof knife into his forehead, which is how horses are slaughtered.

Okay, I need a second to get that image out of my head. And possibly take a minute to cry. I hate humans. We should pull a Caligula and elect a horse into the senate. I mean, we've already got a bunch of asses there, anyway.

But I digress...

I think after this smartly funny and interesting episode that I'm going to have to take time to continue watching it.

And don't even get me started on how House is still so cool. I didn't get to finish that episode... Grey's came on.


Conclusion: I STILL didn't get to see Dirty Sexy Money!!!

You like that? Yeah, I thought so.

Five Days, Episode 2..... Thoughts.

Thoughts on the second part of "Five Days":


1. Wow, Matt. Just attack/walk out on everyone who says the wrong thing. That sort of behavior makes you look really innocent to the press.

2. Kyle's mom, you're the MAN. Sort of.

3. Kyle. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. I have no idea what role you play in this whole thing, but you freak me out and therefore deserve to be arrested. Glad the police agreed with me.

4. ROSIE!!!! Safe... and totally physically unharmed? In your great-grandfather's trailer? Um. Quoi?

5. Dear wannabe journalist whose name I can't remember,

You're a fame-greedy, shameless whore and I hate you. And your mother wore stupid hats.

Not yours,
R.C.

6. PENELOPE WILTON, YOU WIN AT LIFE. "How did I get to be so old?"... your press conference... YOU. Oh my God, you are so awesome, even if you're playing a not-so-good mother. BUT YOU DO IT SO WELL. I LOVED YOU AS BARBARA IN SHAUN OF THE DEAD.

7. Tanya, stop talking. kthx.

8. STOP ENDING ON HORRIBLE CLIFFHANGERS THAT DRIVE ME SLOWLY INSANE WHILE I WAIT FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK TO PASS.

9. I have no idea what you're doing, Sarah Wheeler, but crying in your car after being told to leave the family alone was kind of sketchy. God, I hope you're not some crazy stalker/not planning on stealing Ethan.

10. Iain, you rock. Get down with your camera-shy self.


This show is so good. As a character drama, though. It ain't no Law & Order or CSI.

Proof That God Hates Me.

Of course when I start writing screenplays the Writer's Guild is threatening to go on strike. And now producers are telling writers that their services are no longer needed.

Did the boat leave and I just wasn't on it?

WTF!!!

Read it here: http://www.abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=3706514&page=1


Oh, Hollywood. GET IT TOGETHER!

"No One Mourns the Wicked"

And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!


I am fortunate enough to have a mother who exceeds the definition of "AMAZING". Not only is she my best friend and loves me unconditionally, but she bought me tickets to see Wicked at the Boston Opera House last night (She also bought me Genesis concert tickets, The Police concert tickets, and Maroon 5 -- which is coming up next week, with a review).

After seeing Wicked for the first time, I can only say this: _______________.

That's right. I have no words.

The play was nothing short of spectacular. I was absolutely riveted... even when my sister spilled her sprite all over my foot. I've never seen anything like Wicked. The special effects were incredible, the costumes were beautiful and brilliant, and the performances? Oh man. I needed a cigarette when all was said and done.

For the unworthy idiots people who don't know, Wicked is the prequel to TheWizard of Oz. We learn how Glinda and Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, got to be who they are. AND OH MY GOD, WHAT A DELIGHTFULLY COMPLEX AND SURPRISING STORY.

I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet, but let's just say that the whole thing about the Wicked Witch being evil...? TOTAL misunderstanding.

Victoria Matlock played Elphaba, and she was fantastic. She was wonderfully sarcastic and sharp, and she conveyed so much emotion into every word she spoke. I was so impressed by her.

But it was Christina DeCicco who stole the show as the self-absorbed and uproarious Glinda ("the 'guh' is silent"). She absolutely glowed. And she was SO. DAMN. FUNNY. Oh my God, she did this hilarious childish falsetto and acted like a spoiled brat through half of the play. Sometimes, you had to wonder if she was on Speed. Christine was the Captain Jack Sparrow of the entire play. Show-stopping and side-splittingly good.

I'm so happy that I got to go. Even though the cast will most likely be different (shame), I'd love to go again. I would have really liked to see Idina Menzel reprise her role as the original Elphaba on Broadway. Oh well.

Wicked is playing in Boston from 09.12.07 -- 11.09.07. I suggest you do whatever it takes to see it. You can get tickets on the Boston Opera House website or Ticket Master.

Note: I was made aware of this a year or two ago. If you're a student, you can present your student ID an hour before whatever show you want to see starts and get in for $25. Your seats might not be great, BUT STOP YOUR BITCHING BECAUSE YOU'RE SEEING THE PLAY.

"Five Days", episode 1

Sometimes, you find a show that bowls you over with its awesomeness and you seriously question America and what it's doing wrong.

HBO and the BBC's "Five Days" is that show.

The simple premise given is this: "A mother vanishes into thin air. Her children, abandoned in her car, also end up missing. As police search for clues over three gut-wrenching months, the woman's husband and family learn that nobody's quite what they seem. In the end, five days prove critical in solving the case."

Um, this week on Understatement of the Year, starring HBO's PR people...

I was instantly hooked on Five Days. I'll admit, it was probably the accents that kept me riveted during the first two minutes, but after that it was all the show, which is comprised of never-heard-of actors... or at least to us across the Pond.

The story begins with Leanne Wellings, played by Christine Tremarco, taking two of her three children (the third begging off to stay home) to visit their great-grandfather in the nursing home he's been in. On the way, they see a florist selling flowers out of a rickety old van (creepy part #1). They make a stop to an animal shelter and buy a dog. However, it's the ride back that sets the story into motion. Ending a heated conversation with her husband, Matt, Leanne pulls over to the side of the highway with strict instructions to her children, Ethan, 7; Rosie, 4, to stay in the car and not to move a muscle. She crosses the street and buys flowers for their great-grandfather. But a large truck pulls up, obstructing the children's view of her. When the truck drives away, the van is packed up and Leanne is nowhere to be found. The van then goes the way of the truck, leaving Ethan and Rosie alone.

At this point, I'm like, "........ ohJesusChristonapogostickwhatjusthappened?"

The episode continues with Ethan, Rosie, and the dog leaving the car, Tanya (Leanne's oldest daughter, from another marriage) calling her mother again and again, to know answer, after her great-grandfather fears that something has happened and sends a police officer to check things out. Ethan and Rosie wander, and are soon picked up by a man who works out at the gym their father is an instructor at.

But after night falls and there is still no sign of them, the police become involved and believe they are dealing with a kidnapping.

The episode ends with a woman finding Ethan and the dog hiding in a tool shed on her apartment building's property. And I end the episode with an expletive, because I have to wait another week to see what happens.

Bastards. What a cliffhanger.

I love British TV. I love everything the British do. Total anglophile typing, here. This show, however, is something else. It lacks the camp of favorites such as Doctor Who and Absolutely Fabulous. It's gritty and real and the fact that they use unknown actors endears them to us more, since -- as far as the viewer knows -- they're everyday people, not celebrities.

The pacing is well-done and the dialogue is real. I was particularly affected by David Oyelowo's performance as Matt Wellings, Leanne's husband and the father of Ethan and Rosie, who is continually at odds with Tanya and having employment issues. There was a scene toward the end of the episode where he sits on Ethan's bed and puts his head into his hands. You could feel his despair, his helplessness. I misted up, which doesn't happen too often.

Five Days definitely gets my vote, and my Tuesday nights.

Just what I need, another show to obsess over.

Move Over, Alan Rickman...

... Because I have a new old man crush!

AN OPEN LETTER TO DONALD SUTHERLAND

Dear Mr. Sutherland,

Why must you insist on being so amazing? I mean, really. You're making other actors feel bad about themselves.

I was clued in to your absolute greatness when I first saw you as Professor Jennings, the pothead professor, in National Lampoon's Animal House. Only you could make smoking pot look cool. And then you made me want to turn to a life of crime after watching Outbreak, because evil-ass corrupt military heroes never looked so good. And then as the kind-hearted Mr. Bennett in the remake of Pride & Prejudice. I then thought to myself, "okay, this man knows what's what."

Um. Yeah. And then along came Tripp.

I'm pretty sure Dirty Sexy Money would burn down without you. Sure, all the actors and actresses more than hold their weight. But let's be realistic: no one has the confidence, the skill, or the experience that you do. I can't imagine anyone else playing the role of Tripp Darling... every time I do, I wake up two days later, bleeding out my ears.

It's not just your confidence, which you exude with a very subtle grace, but it's how laid-back you are. You the character you play. In many new shows, it takes actors and actresses to really tap into their character, to know who exactly they're supposed to be. With you, you were Tripp from the first words you spoke. I'm so totally convinced that you're Tripp Darling that I expect to see you flying one of Tripp's many airplanes or buying some multi-billion dollar hotel or something. I walk away from every episode going, "damn. Now that's acting."

I hope you're taking notes, Lindsay Lohan. Or better yet, don't. This girl doesn't want to see you gracing any silver screens in the near future.

Oh, Donald (may I call you Donald?). If only you weren't old enough to be my grandfather. If only you and I lived within walking range. If only you didn't have a son (old enough to be my father) who could kill me with a napkin or his car during one of his drunk-driving stints.

Our love is forbidden. You'll have to settle for a gift basket.

Or this letter, as I don't know your address and 4-1-1 won't give it to me.


Faithfully yours,
R.C.

First Post, also Polar Bears and Spa Debacles

Oh, Heroes. One day, you will stop winning at life and I will be forced to find another show to obsess over.

SPOILER ALERT.

Thoughts on Heroes, Season 2, Episode 3: "Kindred"


1. I'm pretty convinced that Claire is a descendant of Kensei's. They're both golden children, snappy, and in a constant state of WHINE. Oh, not to mention that whole 'we can regenerate ourselves' thing.

2. Mohinder and Matt? "What are you doing home?" I was so torn between laughing hysterically and exploding from the sweetness that wasn't anywhere except in my mind. They are so married... without the love aspect.

3. ZOMG THE TATTOO TURNED INTO THE HELIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, hi, where do I get my own disappearing tattoo?

4. "The man with the horn-rimmed glasses." Ouch. When Claire brings West home to meet the parents? That's gonna be AWKWARD.
** NOTE: Hi, boys. THAT is how you sweep a girl off her feet. You FLY her off into the clouds and then kiss her on a beach. I hope you're taking notes. You might want to get on that flying thing.

5.
Dear Milo Ventimiglia,

Please go shirtless for the rest of the season.

Thanks,
R.C.

6. Oh, Sylar. You totally saw through her wiles because of the whole thing with you liking men. Go you. Except, you know, you can't do shit about it. PS: You're on the Lost island. If you see a polar bear... well, once upon a time I would have told you to kill its ass. But since you've been pretty much neutered, my suggestion would be to run in the opposite direction. Don't stop, don't fucking stop.

7. Oh, Hiro. I love you. My love for you knows no bounds. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me have homicidal thoughts when it comes to finding your happiness. I would gladly knock off Kensei for you so you and Kaeko could be happy together. Let me know. I'll just make a phone call... I know a guy who knows a guy.

8. Maya and Alejandro. There hasn't been a more boring storyline since I was forced to read Snow Falling on Cedars in the 9th grade. I appreciate it now, but then? I was ready to release the inner pyro in me and set the stupid thing on fire. No jury would've convicted me. But during Maya and Alejandro's big scene that lasted more than two minutes (as long as I can stand them) I went out to make myself a bagel with peanut butter. Yawn.

9. Claire, stop using your straightening iron. Your hair looks like it came from the tail of a horse. Kthx.

10. Next episode: SOMEONE SCRAPED THE DEAD ANIMAL OFF OF THE HIGHWAY THAT IS NATHAN'S FACE!!!